Who CyberNapped Mr. Bill? (revised)


Mr. Bill was your average All- American skateboarding professor at a prestigious university while also pursuing a doctoral degree from another. He was your average Joe, liked a good cup of coffee (but not while skateboarding) and was revered and admired by all of his students and colleagues. He had an intense desire to be the next great Tony Hawk, but in Second Life. One bright sunny day in Malibu, on his way to meet his colleague Professor Moodle, Mr. Bill was snatched from behind and thrust into a White Ford Bronco.

Professor Moodle, a colleague of Mr. Bill's, was envious of his capacity to engage his students in innovative adventures in Second Life. Professor Moodle and Mr. Bill have a long standing relationship of meeting every week at the local skatepark to work on the latest skating moves. It is interesting to note that Moodle was the first person to notify the police his friend was missing. The police noted that he called awful quickly after Mr. Bill was cybernapped.

Miss Olive Mettalia (OMET...smile), a student in Mr. Bill's class, was not happy with Mr. Bill. He had recently sent his students on an outrageous scavenger hunt through Second Life which left Miss O. Mettalia in a "dazed and confused" state because she couldn't manage to get herself out of one sticky situation after another. Whether it was surfing in SL (she fell repeatedly off her surfboard), dancing the samba (she couldn't contain herself and committed an action worthy of expulsion from SL) or flying around looking for a new pair of pants (she was lost time and again unable to keep up with the others in her group), Miss O. Metallia was perturbed. In fact, she has been reported to have asked for someone to "help" her with her issues with Mr. Bill. (Needs to learn to dance)

Dean S. P. Stager was past dean of students at the college where Mr. Bill worked. Unexpectedly one day, Dean Stager found himself unemployed because of a rant he posted on his personal blog which was unassociated with the school's blog. The blog post was a vicious analysis of the famed author D. L. Rose's best seller Think Differently With Both Sides of Your Brain. Because Mr. Rose was a great benefactor of the university, the powers that be were not so pleased (nor was Mr. Rose), about Dean Stager's thoughts. The Dean is unsure of who reported him to the president of the university, but he has his suspicions because one professor, in particular, loves teaching Rose's work.

Virt Ripper, a overly competitive skateboarder (often seen skating at Papert Park) was jealous of Mr. Bill's skateboarding skills. Virt dreams many days of being the text Tony Hawk, but Bill stands in his way. Virt tapes many of the practice sessions at Papert Park trying to break down Bill and Professor Moodle’s moves so that he can rip them off. After Bill’s disappearance, the police confiscated Virt’s cameras and actually happened to find video on one of the tapes of an individual that looks like Mr. Bill’s being “cybernapped.” Professor Moodle was seen as well on the tape along with a white Ford Bronco.

Colonel Pepper is the grumpy, old neighbor of Mr. Bill whose therapist suggested he deal with his Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder through building elaborate Lego recreations of the 7 wonders of the world. One day, while he was reconstructing a life-size model of the his favorite American sentiment (the Statue of Liberty), Mr. Bill crashed his skateboard into her leg and sent her tumbling. Though Colonel Pepper and Mr. Bill escaped physical injury, he neglected to apologize, something his war prisoners learned to never omit. Colonel Pepper has been seen sneaking peeks into the Bill’s backyard plotting various course of action on topographical maps locating and tracing Bill's movements.

Mrs. Bill - wife of Mr. Bill, sells Mary Kay products out of the Bill’s home. Due to the slowing of the economy and decreasing cosmetic sales , Mr. Bill's life insurance is looking quite attractive. Additionally, Bill forgot their anniversary this year and his mother wants to move in. All of this combined adds to the temptation of removing Bill from the equation.

Kato Kaelin lives in Mr. Bill's basement. Since his original claim-to-fame in the early 90's, Kato has been eagerly seeking another opportunity to regain the spotlight. He figures that "disappearing" a popular athlete from the sports world might just do the trick, however, he isn't really a sports nut, so he isn't aware of who is popular. He settles for the next best thing, his landlord. When his basement apartment was inspected in connection with Mr. Bill’s disappearance, a sole black shoe was found. When asking Kato about the shoe, he simply declared, “If it doesn’t fit, you must acquit.” (Kato commits the crime- wants to get back into the spot light so that he gets that spot on Celebrity Survivor and that all important OJ supplemental sports drink endorsement deal)

Mrs. W.W. Web – One of Mr. Bill’s mentors and colleague, was the one who inspired Bill to pursue his doctorate while teaching. Uearl (URL) as she likes to be called, also introduced Bill to Second Life which he now uses as an ingenious learning tool. Uearl is especially protective of Mr. Bill often thinking of him more like a son and not appreciative of all the work he has to go through to provide for his family. She was once quoted as saying, “I wish I could just take Bill away from all this…”

Chef Essel (SL) - The Bill family chef, famous for his home made vegan soy based non-animal byproducts pizza which he often prepared for Mr. Bill. Chef Essel always dreamed of having his own cooking show but he signed a contract with Mr. Bill years ago and would not be able to leave as long as Mr. Bill was around.